User:Garfieldcat1978/BJADON
If you're looking for the pages that were on Wikibooks Jokebook, please see lollerpedia.
Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
I can't believe Wikipedia had the nerve to copy this idea from us. ;-)
From Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas/Missions/Home Coming
[edit | edit source]Hey this is K.C. from CV gimme an IV of straight coffee and some greens to keep me from goin' crazy, pickin' up this shit all day man my backs 'bout to break me. my friends all think I'm whack when I tell them I'm 'bout to slang some bags filled with this kid's crap. these hippies all want to hit me up for some acid as soon as I try to pass this plastic to them while they're sitting in their cars at the gate waitin' to get in 'cuz they're already late and the best bet to catch the next set would be to hop the fence but then you can guess what happens next. you find yourself at a show called casemaker that infiltrated by all these mutherfuckin fakers the next thing you know you're catchin all these headachs they took your mary jane so you can't stop the achin but whether or not it's bank i'm makin it's hot i'll be there rockin the spot pickin all the rottin shit up, i know you may never touch a maggot in your life but to me it matters i know that it ain't right for you to leave this place with your junk in my face so just bag it, the earth can't handle it the rest of us can't stomach and stand for it. so get up off your ass and pick up all your trash i know that you cats aren't used to all of that but it's what got to happen if you want to fit 6 billion people on this planet but don't fret when i'm out there working a sweat placin a bet on who picks up the next poopy tent cuz nothin excites hypes or sikes me more then seein my own human race disgraced an unnatural form.
From Lothlorien History: Fall 1990 - Summer 1995
[edit | edit source]July through November 1994: Eric Ongerth needs a place to live after graduating and moving out of room 207. He awakes one summer night with a feverish, chocolate-powered dream of how to suspend a home in the redwood tree. Soon a one-room cabin begins to take shape in the tree right across from the third flor of North House. Working on it six days a week, Eric soon has a place to stay, and lives out a most beautiful year among the birds and squirrels, waking every day to brilliant sunlight, wooden beams, and the grind of traffic at the Prospect/Channing intersection.
By 1995 the treehouse grows infamous within the coop system and those members of other houses who eat the most granola and spend the most time drumming in the forest come and visit. Central maintenance personnel do their best to pretend it doesn't exist. The Daily Cal places the treehouse #1 on a list of "best places for a date".
From Wikiversity:Decision Science
[edit | edit source]To make decisions, you need to be very smart and think ahead...no, wait....
From Enriquesjokes
[edit | edit source]Enrique's joke consist of a simple formula. Simply take a racist term, add a profane word, and follow it by some form of excrement. (ie; Wop's like to fuck crap). If this fails, then shout a string of obscenities, grab your penis, or pretend to hump something invisible.
From Of Mice and Men
[edit | edit source]Slim
[edit | edit source]One of the most respected ranch workers, with strong leadership skills. MOOOOOOOOO!
From Getting a date/Cautionary note
[edit | edit source]Getting a date, or worse yet, falling in love, can change the way you see the whole world. You may never be able to go back to the way you saw it before. You may even skip against your will, in public, where others can see you. Don't say you weren't warned.
More bad jokes
[edit | edit source]fr:zh:ar:ms:de:q:ja:wikt:es:simple:m:b:WB:BJ --Kernigh 05:52, 4 March 2006 (UTC)
Wikijunior New Book of the Quarter - April 1st, 2006
[edit | edit source] |
2nd Quarter 2006 - Quantum field theory! Learn about the classical lagrangian field theory, variational principle and energy-momentum tensor. |
Excerpt from Wikijunior Languages/Galactic Basic
[edit | edit source]Galactic Basic uses the "Aurabesh" script of writing. The Aurabesh look very different from standard English letters, but they still sound exactly like English letters. ... In real life, this language is English, but in the fictional Star Wars world, billions of people speak Galactic Basic, which is commonly called "Basic". ... Galactic Basic is spoken just like English. In fact, speaking English is virtually speaking Basic! So any English words you know are also part of Galactic Basic.
The only difference is that they are written in the Aurabesh script.
From Minecraft resource gathering/Crops
[edit | edit source]Diarrhea can be harvested directly from other people, by giving them laxatives and eye drops. The best way to harvest diarrhea is with an anal funnel. Once diarrhea is harvested, it can be stored in drums and later used to make diarrhea dick jizz. Diarrhea dick jizz is made by pumping diarrhea into a dick hole until it can’t hold any more diarrhea, then jacking off until diarrhea jizz shoots everywhere. Many famous artists have created renowned masterpieces with diarrhea dick jizz this way, by collecting different types and colors of diarrhea.
From Minecraft resource gathering/Elliot Harkness
[edit | edit source]You get Elliot Harkness by mining Stupid Ore with your fist. You can get Stupid Ore by smelting Dirt.
Use
[edit | edit source]Elliot Harkness gives you bad tips about Minecraft. I know who this Elliot Harkness is